Excerpt From ‘Somebody Hold Me’

Chapter 1: Who is this book for?

  • If you’re a person who isn’t getting their touch needs met in the current “standard” way – through a romantic or sexual relationship – this book is for you.
  • If you’ve been told you’re too intense, too old, too ugly, too fat, too crazy, too broke, too annoying, too weird, too depressed or too disabled to have anyone fall in love with you, this book is for you.
  • If your inbox is filled with offers of sex, but you’ve discovered that none of your hookups want to snuggle afterwards, this book is for you.
  • If you’ve been friend-zoned more times than you’ve been on a date, this book is for you.
  • If you can’t remember the last time someone other than your doctor or your hairdresser touched you, this book is for you.
  • If you’re recovering from trauma, feel distrustful of others, and don’t know if you can handle the emotional and physical intimacy of sex, this book is for you.
  • If you are recently divorced and don’t miss your spouse leaving the lid off the toothpaste, but you sure as hell miss sleeping in the same bed, this book is for you.
  • If you wonder what all the fuss is about when people talk about sex, but you enjoy tenderness, touch, and comfort, this book is for you.
  • If you have adult children now, and crave those times when your offsprings’ bodies snuggled into yours for warmth and comfort, this book is for you.
  • If you have a fantastic circle of friends already, yet don’t interact with them other than the occasional hug, and you want more physical contact, this book is definitely for you.

Dating in the 21st century is a pain in the ass. I hear it from all my single friends. It sucks in different ways for men and women, but it sucks nonetheless. It’s exponentially harder for those who don’t identify as cisgender or heterosexual.

“What’s wrong with me that I can’t find a partner?” is a common question. Nothing’s wrong with you; it’s hard for everybody.

The Missing Connection

Touch hunger – the craving for human contact – looks a bit different for every person.  You may know you suffer from lack of touch; or perhaps you know that something is missing, but you don’t realize what it is. You drum your fingers, tap your toes, touch your face, twirl your hair, but still….you’re restless. Exercise, yoga, meditation, or dancing can get you out of your head for a bit, but it’s challenging to stay focused and you often find yourself watching the clock.

Perhaps the missing connection is human contact via nurturing human touch.

Touch is complicated. Physiologically, it impacts our skin, heart, blood pressure, brain, nervous system, and muscles. Touch, or the lack thereof, also affects our thoughts, emotions and worldview. Our attitudes toward touch are grounded in our culture and vary hugely across eras and regions. Touch flirts with issues of gender, human development, evolution, anthropology, sociology, sexuality, belonging, hierarchies, economics, communication and personal preferences. It’s intersectional, integrative, and increasingly important in a world where people feel isolated.

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